Saying What I Feel

I can’t understand why my heart is so deeply in love with you
I told myself our good-byes didn’t mean anything
And now I find myself sitting here crying
Lingering on the broken promise of a future that never was
And never will be.
Well, because you’re you and
I’m me.

How did I end up here?
Why can’t I simply hate you and move on?
You’ve nestled somewhere inside me
So deeply inside that to lose you
Feels like I’m losing a limb.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t think straight.
As the tears moisten the bitterness of my heart
I feel it softly bleeding for you.

How is it you got here?
How did u get the best of me?
How did I not see it coming?
How am I in love….again.

I tremble.
What if this good-bye means forever?
The better part of me wants to scream.
Kick and scream for you to not leave.
Not leave me like all the others before.
But my pride won’t let me.
So I blink those vulnerable tears away
And smile as I hug you one last time.
I try telling myself to let go. Let go.
But I’ve never felt more safe and secure than in your arms.

I said I’d never let you see me cry
But maybe I should.
Maybe I should go out on a limb
And open my heart.
Hell, it’s already broken
What more can hurt?
Rejection, that’s what could hurt.

I’m gonna release you to your future.
And keep the memories of us alive
In the music I listen to.
And reminisce on our kisses when I feel lonely.
And revel in the fact that we were everything we could ever be in our moment
And whether our love is fleeting or lasting
I know in my heart it was real.

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