He asked me what I dreamt about last night and I said, “It’s quite obvious; you”.
He asked me to go into detail but I chose not to tell. On recap of the night’s events in my mind was as wild as having sex with the lights on.
The slow caress of his words through my mind wet my appetite and left me in search for more. I was hungry for his lips; thirsty for his touch. Ultimately, I was yearning for his affection. He found my wall and destroyed it without much effort. Maybe because he was meant to; or maybe because I can’t help myself from opening up the way I do around him.
We talked about our boundaries and created eloquent rules to break; you see, some rules are simply better when they’re broken. Those broken rules melted as fast as my body into his warm embrace. He held me so close to him that I could feel his heart beat; I wondered could it ever beat for me?
I caressed his face and when we made eye contact I had to look away. I felt like a clear window that he could see right through. It’s much too soon for such vulnerability. I’m not even sure if this could last. But he lifted my face up to his and kissed me so tenderly as if answering my question by the soft and gentle connection between our lips. It spoke so much louder than any words I’d ever heard.
Am I being foolish? Probably. Am I in control? Not in the slightest, which makes it all the more scary. But I love how I feel when I am near him. I love the warmth he provides my heart. I love the moments that take our breath away when we are together. He’s got potential to be the beginning to my end…or a momentary pleasure.
We need not take our intimacy to physical heights because I believe he’s made love to my mind with words. He’s undressed my insecurities and cuddled my desires. He’s welcomed my morning after and embraced all of my flaws. It seems too good to be true until he disappears abruptly; leaving me in search of what could be.
I hate the feeling of despondency. I feel abandoned. I hate feeling “out on a limb.” Maybe if I knew his intentions it could provide some type of comfort to my deepest insecurities.
The Pleasure Principles 