Everything Has Changed

I remember when everything was predictable.
I knew you loved me; and that was enough.
Fast forward to here in this moment
And it feels like I don’t know you at all.
I fought my way through all the debris,
Found the strength to give you all of me;
And now I stand alone.
Fragile as china;
Feeling like a forgotten memory.
When everything has changed
Where do I go from here?

There used to be a ‘we’
When there was you and me.
You always laughed at my dreams;
Said they could never be.
Well I made it; made it for us.
But you’re still caught up in a desolate reality that leaves no room for me.
Do you regret giving up?
Am I supposed to feel ashamed of moving on?
I didn’t want to find success without you
But maybe that’s what’s best
Because everything has changed
And our lives are growing distant.

All I ever wanted was you.
All of my dreams were built around us growing old together.
I can’t compete with your lack of vision.
I can’t hold back on life forever.
I hope one day you realize I loved you.
Just not enough to inspire vision.
It’s clear to see that everything has changed between us.

Thoughts

There exists a reality
That doesn’t fade with the blink of tears.
In darkness I have no need to be afraid;
Because you’re there with me,
Squeezing me tightly – so tight there’s no room for fear.
The faint sound of my breathing
The soft repetition of the ceiling fan…
The light glow reflecting from my clock;
It’s after midnight.

My thoughts persist more frequently,
Consumed purely of you like an obsession.
Incessantly I daydream of what could be:
I want even a mundane life
If it’s you and me.

Why Do Women Fake It?

The answer is yes. I have faked it on numerous occasions. You may ask why, what benefit do I get out of it? It ends quickly. I have been a one woman cheerleader during sex just to get him to release so I can go to bed. Or get up and shower. Or just relax because I caught a cramp and I’m no longer in the mood to keep going. Or I’ve gotten mine and he is taking an unnecessary amount of time getting there.
I should probably get paid for how realistic I sound.

Truth is, even if you are not a talker during the act, hearing the other person enjoy themselves adds heightened intensity to it; it helps ‘get you there’ because sex has some mental aspect to it.

I do not fake it all the time; that would just give the other person a false sense of accomplishment in thinking they really are doing something in bed. But occasionally, yes, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Women fake it for you. To just lay there when you are not in the mood but don’t want to say no is like saying no. So we play the part and help the leading role reach the finale.

This technique can backfire, however, by giving the other person a false sense of achievement. Meaning, they think they did a phenomenal job beating the brakes off you in bed, when really their actions didn’t even start the engine. That’s the risk we take in faking it.

When it comes to sex, men and women differ in how they express themselves, say, to their friends. When a guy thinks the sex was great he will talk about it like he was a porn star. “Yeah, man, I had her hitting high notes like an Opera singer! She couldn’t get enough of me!”

When women talk about great sex, they talk about how good the guy was. “Girl, he was so good he had me up making him a full course meal!”

If a woman talks about how good ‘she’ was during the act, chances are you sucked and she is simply complimenting herself on her acting abilities and theatrics in the bedroom.
I don’t think faking it is selfish; it’s actually a very selfless act for the other person’s ego. You may be wondering, how can I tell if she is faking it? Sex isn’t pretty. If she’s overly concerned with her hair, or being cute, then you ain’t hitting the spot. When a woman is completely absorbed into the act, she doesn’t care how she looks as long as you keep giving it to her the way you are. Kind of like how you are with us. I know your girl may have teased you about your ‘sex face’ once or twice. It’s not pretty; but it’s so good you don’t even care!