2 a.m.

I feel you moving; restless in your sleep.
Then I feel your fingers find me.
Wandering in lustful places that
Soon stir my curios appetite.
The fluorescent light from the clock says 2 a.m.
My body says fuck it, let’s do this right now.

Your arms grab me close from behind
As I feel your manhood pressed firmly against my thigh.
Our body heat rises, my nipples feel firm
As you taste them with your tongue
It’s driving my crazy, how badly for you I yearn.

Your hand parts my thighs and I feel you pressing gently against my lips.
Wetness engulfs him as my head spins.
Our bodies intertwine and become tangled in the sheets.
Our dreams become blurred reality
As the minutes and hours turn.

In the wee hours of the morn
I moan in ecstasy as your rhythm is so intoxicating.
I come so effortlessly, again and again.
The grip of your hands on my body in the dark
I whisper, come for me,
And I feel you burst from pure elation
From our pleasurable rendezvous.
I love our 2 a.m. appointments.
I love them more because they are with you.

As we lay completely spent
Smiling and snuggled close.
I feel elated and overjoyed
To have this moment to our own.

Love Where You Never Expect: In The Friend Zone

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We laugh when we hear about a guy being friend zoned. It happens all too often. He tries his best to be nice and friendly, tries to be the shoulder she cries on – he tries to be everything women ‘say’ they want and need.

And then they are labelled “too nice” and find themselves in the dreaded friend zone.

I’ve friend zoned quite a few guys in my life. Some should be lucky they just got friended; I’d much rather hide under a rock from them. But sometimes it’s just bad timing. Sometimes, I don’t know what’s best for me by passing them by.

In particular, I had a friend who’s been friend zoned for like 10 years. Yet I’ve cried to him over heart ache and breakup after breakup. He tried to crawl out of the zone after each one but I shot him down.

In my recent drought of dating, when he proposed the idea, rather than chew his head off I figured why not? In my head I figured I could kill two birds with one stone; give him a chance and thereby shut him up and let him spoil me but let him down gently when our trip was over.

He was attractive but I wasn’t attracted to him. He was cool but I didn’t think he was on my level. He was skinny; I’m a big girl. I’m not trying to look like the zero to our 10. I don’t have children, but his son is like half my age because he had him early. I was totally focused on the why nots rather than why we might actually work out.

When we met under these new conditions, at first I wasn’t ready. Secondly, he wasn’t ready. After my arrival, we hugged and he went in immediately for the kiss. It caught me off guard, but I was pleasantly surprised. I called him my cocaine because I simply could not get enough of him and I was his heroine – the addiction was highly intoxicating.

It was the best of both world; an amazing guy who hadn’t let chivalry die and a best friend that I could be completely myself with. I wasn’t self conscious about my weight because he’d already accepted me for who I was and was more than willing to pass the cupcakes. I didn’t have to worry about always dressing nice; a pair of sweats and no bra was just as good as my sexy dresses because he already knew how I was.

And then there was the sex. Bombdotcom. I didn’t know he would put it down like that, but he surely underestimated me, too. However, because I’d loved this man for years, even if just as a friend, we fell into a perfect sync that I can’t put into words. He awakened a passion inside of me that I didn’t think existed. It wasn’t friends with benefits either, I actually don’t want to let this one go.

Everything I once felt for him began to change. And there was never an awkward moment. That’s how I knew it was for real.

So for my men in the friend zone, don’t lose heart. There is hope. It may be timing, it may be some hard lessons that have yet to be learned. But don’t give up. All that foot work will be worth it one day.

For my ladies, ask yourself this: of all the guys you gave a chance who CLEARLY weren’t worth your time, why not give that one guy friend a chance? But make some rules that you won’t let it ruin your friendship and always always respect the friendship over the relationship. You never know. You might be sitting on a diamond disguised as mere coal.

Answering The ‘Shoulder Tap’

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Who has found themselves in this situation before? Somebody wants some, but the other person is far from interested? Not even willing to help you out in a time of need! Reasons can be similar for both men and women; busy lives, children, not feeling well, long and/or bad day at work, etc. The person being rejected may not understand or feel that you are being unreasonable, especially if “No” has been heard far more than “Yes.”

For the ones saying no, have you really given it enough thought? Have you put yourself in your partner’s, errr – pants? Have you opted for middle ground – heavy petting, making out, possibly oral, before disregarding their request? Do you really think if you got started that you wouldn’t find yourself enjoying it, too?

For those who are doing the ‘tapping’ have you thought about how your partner feels? How was their day? Did you argue at all? When they say no, is the reason the same or something different?

If any of you have ever heard of Dr. Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” it is a very thorough guide in understanding the person you are with. It actually speaks beyond romantic relationships to that of coworkers, children, teenagers, family, etc. But I digress. It discusses ways to get the person you love to understand your love for them. Most men are physical; so sex being a physical act is one way they like to show they love their significant other. There are other ways, but I am just focusing on one for the sake of this post.

When a person who has a love language of physical attention and they want to have sex but get rejected it is more than saying, “No”. In their mind it’s like saying you don’t love them, too. So over time, they begin to withdraw from the relationship and eventually may seek their needs to be met somewhere else. If you’re thinking, ‘well if they would help around the house, or if they would just pay me a compliment once in awhile instead of wanting to jump me all the time’ then you are speaking your love language. They need to learn how to speak it.

Relationships require give and take. Granted, you may not always be in the mood. You may be so angry with something they have done or didn’t do that you can’t fathom being in the same bed, but I will say this. Life is short and we do not know when we will take our last breath. Try not to go to bed angry. Try to resolve to either agree to disagree or really get to the heart of the matter – sans emotional outbursts, etc. Fight fair. Listen. Sacrifice.

The answer to the shoulder tap might be ‘no’ but just be sure you add a ‘yes’ in there, too. Or make the rain check worthwhile…

Passion Chronicles #5

I told myself I was done with him because he was really no good for me. He was the player type; there was never a possibility that he would do right by me or mean anything he said. The best thing to do was cut him off. Completely. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll cut him off. Sometimes thinking these things are easier than doing them, especially when the memories of the way his lips feel in certain places linger heavy on the mind. Or the grip of his hands.

Focus. He’s a jerk. That’s enough. I’ll tell him tonight that it’s over. I’m sure he has five or six other women swooning around him anyway. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t hear my office door open and shut. I worked the swing shift with another person, but I was the only one in the office at the time. I felt this sudden rush of heat come over me as soft wet lips pressed against the crook of my neck and a heavy hand slid down into my blouse and fondled my left breast. I was quite startled but it felt too good to protest.

My chair swung around and there he was in the flesh. Before I could say a word he picked me up out of my seat and sat me on the edge of my desk, pressing his body against me so that I could feel every inch of hard, solid muscle. He was working on the third button on my blouse before I got the courage to try and stop him. He brushed my hands away playfully and engulfed me in a hot and heavy kiss with his intoxicating lips before I could protest. His hand was making its way up my thigh and my hand was undoing his belt buckle. He knew I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, say no. He knew how bad I wanted him; I was a puppet on a string for him.

I bit his ear gently. I whispered, “We really shouldn’t; my co-worker-”

He cut me off and said, “I locked the door. You ain’t going nowhere for awhile,” and my shirt landed on a chair across the room. He nibbled my nipples and then laid me back on the desk. I spread my legs wide for him while he feasted on my goodness. Because the office was so empty my moans echoed.
I motioned for him to pull me closer to him. I slid right into his lap and sat on my throne. We always fit together like a hand in glove, he slid in so nice and easy. I grinded slowly in his lap like I was giving him a private lap dance. I tasted myself on his lips. Have you ever noticed that the best sex is usually the type you shouldn’t be having, usually with someone you shouldn’t be having it with?

I heard the doorknob rattle like someone was trying to come in. My body tensed and I was frozen in place until he pulled my face over to him and kissed me. He said, “Forget them – they can wait,” and lifted me back up onto the desk. I wrapped my legs around him and did just what he said; I forgot where I was, I forgot I was at work and I forgot how much I hated him.

My fingernails dug into his back as he hit that spot that had me ready to climax. I bit his earlobe and then softly bit his neck. He loved it when I bit him, it turned him on. His rhythm became faster and more intense. My thigh was quivering but I wouldn’t unwrap my legs from around him. I heard a deep sigh of relief in my ear and he kissed my shoulder while gently putting me down.

No words spoken and no further glances, I grabbed my shirt from the chair and made myself presentable while he made his way to the back and climbed out the window to the fire escape.

Elements of an Elusive Feeling

I crack open my window to catch some of the gentle breeze flowing
It flows effortlessly as I blink silent tears away.
How could I let all of my freedom slip away from me?
How could I let you take my heart from me?
You are barely a figment of my reality,
You come and go so infrequently,
It’s a wonder you had time to steal my heart.

But you did. All within a few seconds of gently embracing me.
Caressing my fragile wounded soul and kissing every painful memory away.
You didn’t have to be so kind.
I didn’t expect you to notice the little things,
But there you were,
In my living room, and making your way into my heart.
Embedding yourself into the depth of my eyes
And anchoring a place within my spirit.
I’d rather hate you, you know.
It would all just be so much easier if I could dislike you.

Your inconsistency plays with my emotions.
It does nothing for my fear of committment.
I try to put up a wall to lock you out,
And I’ll do well for a few days until…
You return and knock it down again.
And I am left with a smiling heart and my security shattered
Into dust sized pieces, of which will never form together again.
But it’s okay, I tell myself, until I find myself alone again,
Wondering where you went to this time,
Wondering why you bothered to return if you knew
You were just going to disappear again.

I can’t keep longing for you.
I can’t keep fighting my feelings.
Either you are in, or out, but none of this halfway business.
Please tell me the truth, so that I can set myself free
Of the undulating feeling of wanting to being in love with you.