2 a.m.

I feel you moving; restless in your sleep.
Then I feel your fingers find me.
Wandering in lustful places that
Soon stir my curios appetite.
The fluorescent light from the clock says 2 a.m.
My body says fuck it, let’s do this right now.

Your arms grab me close from behind
As I feel your manhood pressed firmly against my thigh.
Our body heat rises, my nipples feel firm
As you taste them with your tongue
It’s driving my crazy, how badly for you I yearn.

Your hand parts my thighs and I feel you pressing gently against my lips.
Wetness engulfs him as my head spins.
Our bodies intertwine and become tangled in the sheets.
Our dreams become blurred reality
As the minutes and hours turn.

In the wee hours of the morn
I moan in ecstasy as your rhythm is so intoxicating.
I come so effortlessly, again and again.
The grip of your hands on my body in the dark
I whisper, come for me,
And I feel you burst from pure elation
From our pleasurable rendezvous.
I love our 2 a.m. appointments.
I love them more because they are with you.

As we lay completely spent
Smiling and snuggled close.
I feel elated and overjoyed
To have this moment to our own.

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Passion Deflated

We all can agree that there are those moments in life when things just don’t work out the way we would like. It is more frustrating when the things not working out are between our spouse/significant other. Finances, work, family and children can cause fallouts greater than the Hiroshima nuclear blast. How each of you handle these elements can make or break the issue.

One in particular that I want to address today is sex. We’ve all seen the sitcoms on tv where the wife withholds sex until the husband does _________ (whatever honey-do task that hasn’t been completed). Or she withholds it because of something he did do or say. Either way, it’s not fighting fair. Most women are emotional creatures by nature and in order to get the cookie you have to appeal to the mind and heart first. Most men are physical and what women are moved by have no effect on them whatsoever. Sex is sex. So what if the dishes aren’t done. I’m horny. I know the kid was suspended from school. We haven’t touched in three days. I’ll finish the yard this weekend. I need some attention.

Some men stop looking at their spouse/significant other the same way they used to in the beginning. Underlying causes can range from stress at work to their own insecurities. Maybe they feel unattractive or that you’ve lost interest in them. Maybe there is a medical condition that causes them to be unable to ‘perform’ the way they used to and rather than just talk about it they feel embarrassed and keep it to themselves. Maybe you’ve nagged so much that they have simply lost the strength to fight for your attention. Women need to understand that just as they have these thoughts in their head, so do men.

We can’t take a break from life and the revolving problems that arise daily but we can take carve out some time to break for a purpose of getting back in touch with one another. Just as work and family need your attention, so does your spouse/significant other. Their needs are starved when they become last on your list or don’t make it to your priority list at all. Sometimes it is as simple as stepping away and asking yourself how you would feel in their shoes. It seems easy to point fingers and blame someone else for being lazy or lacking responsibility or whatever the issue may be. It’s hard to consider what difficult things they may be facing in their lives or how they rationalize certain situations.

Get back to the basics. Get back to love. At the end of the day, if you only had a few hours left to live would you spend them complaining about work or the children or would you focus on what is important; the relationship between all the elements of your family? We always think we have forever until we take our last breath. This sobering reality hit home yesterday as I celebrated Memorial Day. Many people thanked me for my 13 years of military service but I had to correct them; Veteran’s Day is my day of celebration. Memorial Day is for the fallen comrades who did not come home so that I could. Their families are paying the ultimate sacrifice as they are now without that mother, daughter, sister, aunt, father, uncle, brother or son.

Some women use the excuse that they aren’t in the mood. It is a very realistic excuse. Some women have low libidos. After having a baby some women lose interest because their bodies have changed along with their hormones and they don’t feel like they still ‘got it’. For those women I will say this. If he is trying to be with you, trying to make love to you, trying to touch you – trust me, you still got it. Stop analyzing your own body and look at it through the eyes of your spouse/significant other. How do you think the phrase, ‘Mother I’d Like to F*ck’ (MILF) was coined? Trust me, he wouldn’t be after you if you didn’t turn him on.

Also realize that men go through changes, too, after you have a baby. Maybe not in the physical sense – well, some guys do have sympathy pain or gain sympathy weight which I think is cute – but seriously, your body just brought a life into this world. That is the beauty of life unfolding before their eyes. Maybe you stopped having sex because it was too painful during the last bit of pregnancy. Or maybe you felt too big and awkward. Now that you’ve had the baby and had that healing time pass think about how he might feel making love to you again. He might feel anxious, which in turn could make him not last that long. He may be afraid of hurting you or not know how to respond to your body, which could make it hard for him to keep an erection. There could be a million things going through his head, but the main one that is most important is that he still loves and wants to be with you. Stop being in your head so much and just let nature take control. Enjoy the moment. Once time has passed you can never get that back.

Some problems cannot be solved easily. Some are deeply rooted and require the specialized training of a certified professional counselor. If you feel that your relationship is beyond repair or that both of you are at your wits end then maybe it’s time to call in reinforcement. Counseling can do more good than harm. You may find that it’s just a matter of difference or misunderstanding. You may find something more. But letting it fester to the point where you both have had enough and the passion has lost its flame is not good. Flames can be reignited but it requires work from both parties and a willingness to be open minded and not stoop to the petty blame game.

Life is too short to live without passion. Especially intimate passion with someone you say you love. It all comes down to choices. You can choose to fight for and bring the passion back or you can let it die. At the end of the day, what will you choose?

Answering The ‘Shoulder Tap’

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Who has found themselves in this situation before? Somebody wants some, but the other person is far from interested? Not even willing to help you out in a time of need! Reasons can be similar for both men and women; busy lives, children, not feeling well, long and/or bad day at work, etc. The person being rejected may not understand or feel that you are being unreasonable, especially if “No” has been heard far more than “Yes.”

For the ones saying no, have you really given it enough thought? Have you put yourself in your partner’s, errr – pants? Have you opted for middle ground – heavy petting, making out, possibly oral, before disregarding their request? Do you really think if you got started that you wouldn’t find yourself enjoying it, too?

For those who are doing the ‘tapping’ have you thought about how your partner feels? How was their day? Did you argue at all? When they say no, is the reason the same or something different?

If any of you have ever heard of Dr. Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” it is a very thorough guide in understanding the person you are with. It actually speaks beyond romantic relationships to that of coworkers, children, teenagers, family, etc. But I digress. It discusses ways to get the person you love to understand your love for them. Most men are physical; so sex being a physical act is one way they like to show they love their significant other. There are other ways, but I am just focusing on one for the sake of this post.

When a person who has a love language of physical attention and they want to have sex but get rejected it is more than saying, “No”. In their mind it’s like saying you don’t love them, too. So over time, they begin to withdraw from the relationship and eventually may seek their needs to be met somewhere else. If you’re thinking, ‘well if they would help around the house, or if they would just pay me a compliment once in awhile instead of wanting to jump me all the time’ then you are speaking your love language. They need to learn how to speak it.

Relationships require give and take. Granted, you may not always be in the mood. You may be so angry with something they have done or didn’t do that you can’t fathom being in the same bed, but I will say this. Life is short and we do not know when we will take our last breath. Try not to go to bed angry. Try to resolve to either agree to disagree or really get to the heart of the matter – sans emotional outbursts, etc. Fight fair. Listen. Sacrifice.

The answer to the shoulder tap might be ‘no’ but just be sure you add a ‘yes’ in there, too. Or make the rain check worthwhile…

What’s On Your Passion Bucket List?

bucket-list
Life is short in comparison to how fast time flies. For anyone who has come upon their 10 year class reunion from high school I’m sure you’ve asked yourself, “Has it “really” been that long?” With our busy daily lives time has a way of escaping us. So it is vitally important to make the most of everything and to always create lasting memories.

Some have a bucket list in life. These are things that they want to do before they die or become too fragile to do such as bungee jump, sky dive, parasail, deep sea dive, etc. Usually these are adrenaline junkies or people who live off of the rush of fear. While not everyone has the same bucket list, I mean, some could have taking a Caribbean cruise or traveling to Australia or even seeing Mt. Rushmore as their bucket list wish. But a passion bucket list contains passionate, often intimate and sexual, fantasies that you would like to experience. Some could be so wild that you want to experience them before marriage. Some may be what you want to experience during your marriage to keep it spicy and interesting.

My passion bucket list started off PG, obviously, because I was rather green in regards to sex back in the day. I wanted to kiss in the rain. While some say this is overrated, I found it to be just as passionate as in the movies. Then again, I hear my own theme music in my head so that might have had something to do with it and he was a really sexy Marine so I think kissing him regardless was on my bucket list.

I’ve kissed a girl, gotten freaky in a park – in another country (I say that part because foreign countries have different laws so there was little shame in being discreet or worrying about cops arresting us for exhibition), in a car, with a guy with a cast, in a public bathroom, in every room of the house (and yes, we disinfected everything), at work, in the garage, and I think that’s it so far.
Other places that I think would be good are of course the mile high club (on an airplane), possibly a crowded bus or train (just imagine the rocking of the bus or train as your bodies bump against one another…), and here is a link to 50 more other places.

Can you cross off any of these? Are there any that you are thinking of adding to your list?
adult bucket list

Passion Chronicles #5

I told myself I was done with him because he was really no good for me. He was the player type; there was never a possibility that he would do right by me or mean anything he said. The best thing to do was cut him off. Completely. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll cut him off. Sometimes thinking these things are easier than doing them, especially when the memories of the way his lips feel in certain places linger heavy on the mind. Or the grip of his hands.

Focus. He’s a jerk. That’s enough. I’ll tell him tonight that it’s over. I’m sure he has five or six other women swooning around him anyway. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t hear my office door open and shut. I worked the swing shift with another person, but I was the only one in the office at the time. I felt this sudden rush of heat come over me as soft wet lips pressed against the crook of my neck and a heavy hand slid down into my blouse and fondled my left breast. I was quite startled but it felt too good to protest.

My chair swung around and there he was in the flesh. Before I could say a word he picked me up out of my seat and sat me on the edge of my desk, pressing his body against me so that I could feel every inch of hard, solid muscle. He was working on the third button on my blouse before I got the courage to try and stop him. He brushed my hands away playfully and engulfed me in a hot and heavy kiss with his intoxicating lips before I could protest. His hand was making its way up my thigh and my hand was undoing his belt buckle. He knew I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, say no. He knew how bad I wanted him; I was a puppet on a string for him.

I bit his ear gently. I whispered, “We really shouldn’t; my co-worker-”

He cut me off and said, “I locked the door. You ain’t going nowhere for awhile,” and my shirt landed on a chair across the room. He nibbled my nipples and then laid me back on the desk. I spread my legs wide for him while he feasted on my goodness. Because the office was so empty my moans echoed.
I motioned for him to pull me closer to him. I slid right into his lap and sat on my throne. We always fit together like a hand in glove, he slid in so nice and easy. I grinded slowly in his lap like I was giving him a private lap dance. I tasted myself on his lips. Have you ever noticed that the best sex is usually the type you shouldn’t be having, usually with someone you shouldn’t be having it with?

I heard the doorknob rattle like someone was trying to come in. My body tensed and I was frozen in place until he pulled my face over to him and kissed me. He said, “Forget them – they can wait,” and lifted me back up onto the desk. I wrapped my legs around him and did just what he said; I forgot where I was, I forgot I was at work and I forgot how much I hated him.

My fingernails dug into his back as he hit that spot that had me ready to climax. I bit his earlobe and then softly bit his neck. He loved it when I bit him, it turned him on. His rhythm became faster and more intense. My thigh was quivering but I wouldn’t unwrap my legs from around him. I heard a deep sigh of relief in my ear and he kissed my shoulder while gently putting me down.

No words spoken and no further glances, I grabbed my shirt from the chair and made myself presentable while he made his way to the back and climbed out the window to the fire escape.

Should You Wait To Have Sex?

safe sex
Religion says wait. Save yourself for your mate on your wedding day. Society says enjoy the pleasures of life and don’t deny yourself anything because you only live once (YOLO)…so which is it? Honestly, it’s a personal decision. Even Preacher’s kids struggle with holding out; look at Sarah Jakes, T.D. Jakes daughter who got pregnant at 14. So no matter who your parents are, ideally the decision is an individual one. However, it is important that we equip our teens with the essential knowledge to make these decisions.

I didn’t wait until I was married to have sex, although my situation is a bit unique…but I know friends who have waited, those who did not and those who took a vow of celibacy later on. In either case, they have had fulfilling marriages, while some have divorced and moved on.

Of my friends, the youngest that married while still virgins were 24 and 25. The oldest virgin I know to get married (he was a devout Catholic and virgin, she chose to honor his celibacy but was not a virgin) was 40 and 36. I know, right? We used to clown him every day although we truly did respect his decision to wait until marriage.

Recently in the news, Megan Good and her fiancé announced that they have decided to wait until marriage. It’s hard to believe celebrities can have morals these days, and I’m sure it took a lot of courage to come out and reveal something like that. Megan Good is known for her sex appeal image. I’m sure this will have an impact on young girls who look up to her – hopefully in a good way because I am so tired of seeing ‘Pregnant at 16’ become the new teenage idol.
true love waits
It has become more of a popular thing to remove physical intimacy from a relationship. Since sex has become so easy to come by it seems love is left rusting on the shelf. When the sex is amazing it’s hard to differentiate between whether your feelings for them are real or if it’s just for the way they make you feel in bed. I know I’ve been clouded in judgment about that before – staying with a guy simply because the sex was way too good to give up to someone else although he acted like a complete jerk.

Holding off on sex proves to be useful in getting to know someone for who they are and finding out who is willing to stick around and commit rather than stay for an easy lay. But what if you do decide to wait and when you finally have sex it’s horrible? Then what?

I’m a firm believe that what makes sex so powerful and intense has more to do with feelings than technique. I mean sure, knowing what you are doing IS important, but when you really love someone your senses are more heightened with them and it becomes more emotional than physical. Just think about sex for the purpose of sex and actually making love to someone you are totally connected to. Both can be fun and pleasurable, but I think overall when it’s with someone meaningful it has more value.

What are your thoughts on waiting before marriage? Have you done it? Would you do it?
couple

Convenient

Saying what I feel will never mean anything if you don’t realize what I’m feeling is for you.
They are empty words that float out into space
Lost between here and you.
I quit trying to fill the void of your existence
With people who could on temporarily relieve my yearning.
Sex without a purpose might as well be replaced with masturbation
Because then I’m not left with the awkwardness of asking
Them to leave….Quietly.