Why Do Women Fake It?

Posted on March 24, 2014 by J. Mahogany

The answer is yes. I have faked it on numerous occasions. You may ask why, what benefit do I get out of it? It ends quickly. I have been a one woman cheerleader during sex just to get him to release so I can go to bed. Or get up and shower. Or just relax because I caught a cramp and I’m no longer in the mood to keep going. Or I’ve gotten mine and he is taking an unnecessary amount of time getting there.
I should probably get paid for how realistic I sound.

Truth is, even if you are not a talker during the act, hearing the other person enjoy themselves adds heightened intensity to it; it helps ‘get you there’ because sex has some mental aspect to it.

I do not fake it all the time; that would just give the other person a false sense of accomplishment in thinking they really are doing something in bed. But occasionally, yes, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Women fake it for you. To just lay there when you are not in the mood but don’t want to say no is like saying no. So we play the part and help the leading role reach the finale.

This technique can backfire, however, by giving the other person a false sense of achievement. Meaning, they think they did a phenomenal job beating the brakes off you in bed, when really their actions didn’t even start the engine. That’s the risk we take in faking it.

When it comes to sex, men and women differ in how they express themselves, say, to their friends. When a guy thinks the sex was great he will talk about it like he was a porn star. “Yeah, man, I had her hitting high notes like an Opera singer! She couldn’t get enough of me!”

When women talk about great sex, they talk about how good the guy was. “Girl, he was so good he had me up making him a full course meal!”

If a woman talks about how good ‘she’ was during the act, chances are you sucked and she is simply complimenting herself on her acting abilities and theatrics in the bedroom.
I don’t think faking it is selfish; it’s actually a very selfless act for the other person’s ego. You may be wondering, how can I tell if she is faking it? Sex isn’t pretty. If she’s overly concerned with her hair, or being cute, then you ain’t hitting the spot. When a woman is completely absorbed into the act, she doesn’t care how she looks as long as you keep giving it to her the way you are. Kind of like how you are with us. I know your girl may have teased you about your ‘sex face’ once or twice. It’s not pretty; but it’s so good you don’t even care!

Answering The ‘Shoulder Tap’

Posted on March 13, 2014 by J. Mahogany

Who has found themselves in this situation before? Somebody wants some, but the other person is far from interested? Not even willing to help you out in a time of need! Reasons can be similar for both men and women; busy lives, children, not feeling well, long and/or bad day at work, etc. The person being rejected may not understand or feel that you are being unreasonable, especially if “No” has been heard far more than “Yes.”

For the ones saying no, have you really given it enough thought? Have you put yourself in your partner’s, errr – pants? Have you opted for middle ground – heavy petting, making out, possibly oral, before disregarding their request? Do you really think if you got started that you wouldn’t find yourself enjoying it, too?

For those who are doing the ‘tapping’ have you thought about how your partner feels? How was their day? Did you argue at all? When they say no, is the reason the same or something different?

If any of you have ever heard of Dr. Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” it is a very thorough guide in understanding the person you are with. It actually speaks beyond romantic relationships to that of coworkers, children, teenagers, family, etc. But I digress. It discusses ways to get the person you love to understand your love for them. Most men are physical; so sex being a physical act is one way they like to show they love their significant other. There are other ways, but I am just focusing on one for the sake of this post.

When a person who has a love language of physical attention and they want to have sex but get rejected it is more than saying, “No”. In their mind it’s like saying you don’t love them, too. So over time, they begin to withdraw from the relationship and eventually may seek their needs to be met somewhere else. If you’re thinking, ‘well if they would help around the house, or if they would just pay me a compliment once in awhile instead of wanting to jump me all the time’ then you are speaking your love language. They need to learn how to speak it.

Relationships require give and take. Granted, you may not always be in the mood. You may be so angry with something they have done or didn’t do that you can’t fathom being in the same bed, but I will say this. Life is short and we do not know when we will take our last breath. Try not to go to bed angry. Try to resolve to either agree to disagree or really get to the heart of the matter – sans emotional outbursts, etc. Fight fair. Listen. Sacrifice.

The answer to the shoulder tap might be ‘no’ but just be sure you add a ‘yes’ in there, too. Or make the rain check worthwhile…