Why Do Women Fake It?

The answer is yes. I have faked it on numerous occasions. You may ask why, what benefit do I get out of it? It ends quickly. I have been a one woman cheerleader during sex just to get him to release so I can go to bed. Or get up and shower. Or just relax because I caught a cramp and I’m no longer in the mood to keep going. Or I’ve gotten mine and he is taking an unnecessary amount of time getting there.
I should probably get paid for how realistic I sound.

Truth is, even if you are not a talker during the act, hearing the other person enjoy themselves adds heightened intensity to it; it helps ‘get you there’ because sex has some mental aspect to it.

I do not fake it all the time; that would just give the other person a false sense of accomplishment in thinking they really are doing something in bed. But occasionally, yes, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Women fake it for you. To just lay there when you are not in the mood but don’t want to say no is like saying no. So we play the part and help the leading role reach the finale.

This technique can backfire, however, by giving the other person a false sense of achievement. Meaning, they think they did a phenomenal job beating the brakes off you in bed, when really their actions didn’t even start the engine. That’s the risk we take in faking it.

When it comes to sex, men and women differ in how they express themselves, say, to their friends. When a guy thinks the sex was great he will talk about it like he was a porn star. “Yeah, man, I had her hitting high notes like an Opera singer! She couldn’t get enough of me!”

When women talk about great sex, they talk about how good the guy was. “Girl, he was so good he had me up making him a full course meal!”

If a woman talks about how good ‘she’ was during the act, chances are you sucked and she is simply complimenting herself on her acting abilities and theatrics in the bedroom.
I don’t think faking it is selfish; it’s actually a very selfless act for the other person’s ego. You may be wondering, how can I tell if she is faking it? Sex isn’t pretty. If she’s overly concerned with her hair, or being cute, then you ain’t hitting the spot. When a woman is completely absorbed into the act, she doesn’t care how she looks as long as you keep giving it to her the way you are. Kind of like how you are with us. I know your girl may have teased you about your ‘sex face’ once or twice. It’s not pretty; but it’s so good you don’t even care!

Answering The ‘Shoulder Tap’

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Who has found themselves in this situation before? Somebody wants some, but the other person is far from interested? Not even willing to help you out in a time of need! Reasons can be similar for both men and women; busy lives, children, not feeling well, long and/or bad day at work, etc. The person being rejected may not understand or feel that you are being unreasonable, especially if “No” has been heard far more than “Yes.”

For the ones saying no, have you really given it enough thought? Have you put yourself in your partner’s, errr – pants? Have you opted for middle ground – heavy petting, making out, possibly oral, before disregarding their request? Do you really think if you got started that you wouldn’t find yourself enjoying it, too?

For those who are doing the ‘tapping’ have you thought about how your partner feels? How was their day? Did you argue at all? When they say no, is the reason the same or something different?

If any of you have ever heard of Dr. Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” it is a very thorough guide in understanding the person you are with. It actually speaks beyond romantic relationships to that of coworkers, children, teenagers, family, etc. But I digress. It discusses ways to get the person you love to understand your love for them. Most men are physical; so sex being a physical act is one way they like to show they love their significant other. There are other ways, but I am just focusing on one for the sake of this post.

When a person who has a love language of physical attention and they want to have sex but get rejected it is more than saying, “No”. In their mind it’s like saying you don’t love them, too. So over time, they begin to withdraw from the relationship and eventually may seek their needs to be met somewhere else. If you’re thinking, ‘well if they would help around the house, or if they would just pay me a compliment once in awhile instead of wanting to jump me all the time’ then you are speaking your love language. They need to learn how to speak it.

Relationships require give and take. Granted, you may not always be in the mood. You may be so angry with something they have done or didn’t do that you can’t fathom being in the same bed, but I will say this. Life is short and we do not know when we will take our last breath. Try not to go to bed angry. Try to resolve to either agree to disagree or really get to the heart of the matter – sans emotional outbursts, etc. Fight fair. Listen. Sacrifice.

The answer to the shoulder tap might be ‘no’ but just be sure you add a ‘yes’ in there, too. Or make the rain check worthwhile…

What’s On Your Passion Bucket List?

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Life is short in comparison to how fast time flies. For anyone who has come upon their 10 year class reunion from high school I’m sure you’ve asked yourself, “Has it “really” been that long?” With our busy daily lives time has a way of escaping us. So it is vitally important to make the most of everything and to always create lasting memories.

Some have a bucket list in life. These are things that they want to do before they die or become too fragile to do such as bungee jump, sky dive, parasail, deep sea dive, etc. Usually these are adrenaline junkies or people who live off of the rush of fear. While not everyone has the same bucket list, I mean, some could have taking a Caribbean cruise or traveling to Australia or even seeing Mt. Rushmore as their bucket list wish. But a passion bucket list contains passionate, often intimate and sexual, fantasies that you would like to experience. Some could be so wild that you want to experience them before marriage. Some may be what you want to experience during your marriage to keep it spicy and interesting.

My passion bucket list started off PG, obviously, because I was rather green in regards to sex back in the day. I wanted to kiss in the rain. While some say this is overrated, I found it to be just as passionate as in the movies. Then again, I hear my own theme music in my head so that might have had something to do with it and he was a really sexy Marine so I think kissing him regardless was on my bucket list.

I’ve kissed a girl, gotten freaky in a park – in another country (I say that part because foreign countries have different laws so there was little shame in being discreet or worrying about cops arresting us for exhibition), in a car, with a guy with a cast, in a public bathroom, in every room of the house (and yes, we disinfected everything), at work, in the garage, and I think that’s it so far.
Other places that I think would be good are of course the mile high club (on an airplane), possibly a crowded bus or train (just imagine the rocking of the bus or train as your bodies bump against one another…), and here is a link to 50 more other places.

Can you cross off any of these? Are there any that you are thinking of adding to your list?
adult bucket list

Passion Chronicles #5

I told myself I was done with him because he was really no good for me. He was the player type; there was never a possibility that he would do right by me or mean anything he said. The best thing to do was cut him off. Completely. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll cut him off. Sometimes thinking these things are easier than doing them, especially when the memories of the way his lips feel in certain places linger heavy on the mind. Or the grip of his hands.

Focus. He’s a jerk. That’s enough. I’ll tell him tonight that it’s over. I’m sure he has five or six other women swooning around him anyway. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t hear my office door open and shut. I worked the swing shift with another person, but I was the only one in the office at the time. I felt this sudden rush of heat come over me as soft wet lips pressed against the crook of my neck and a heavy hand slid down into my blouse and fondled my left breast. I was quite startled but it felt too good to protest.

My chair swung around and there he was in the flesh. Before I could say a word he picked me up out of my seat and sat me on the edge of my desk, pressing his body against me so that I could feel every inch of hard, solid muscle. He was working on the third button on my blouse before I got the courage to try and stop him. He brushed my hands away playfully and engulfed me in a hot and heavy kiss with his intoxicating lips before I could protest. His hand was making its way up my thigh and my hand was undoing his belt buckle. He knew I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, say no. He knew how bad I wanted him; I was a puppet on a string for him.

I bit his ear gently. I whispered, “We really shouldn’t; my co-worker-”

He cut me off and said, “I locked the door. You ain’t going nowhere for awhile,” and my shirt landed on a chair across the room. He nibbled my nipples and then laid me back on the desk. I spread my legs wide for him while he feasted on my goodness. Because the office was so empty my moans echoed.
I motioned for him to pull me closer to him. I slid right into his lap and sat on my throne. We always fit together like a hand in glove, he slid in so nice and easy. I grinded slowly in his lap like I was giving him a private lap dance. I tasted myself on his lips. Have you ever noticed that the best sex is usually the type you shouldn’t be having, usually with someone you shouldn’t be having it with?

I heard the doorknob rattle like someone was trying to come in. My body tensed and I was frozen in place until he pulled my face over to him and kissed me. He said, “Forget them – they can wait,” and lifted me back up onto the desk. I wrapped my legs around him and did just what he said; I forgot where I was, I forgot I was at work and I forgot how much I hated him.

My fingernails dug into his back as he hit that spot that had me ready to climax. I bit his earlobe and then softly bit his neck. He loved it when I bit him, it turned him on. His rhythm became faster and more intense. My thigh was quivering but I wouldn’t unwrap my legs from around him. I heard a deep sigh of relief in my ear and he kissed my shoulder while gently putting me down.

No words spoken and no further glances, I grabbed my shirt from the chair and made myself presentable while he made his way to the back and climbed out the window to the fire escape.

Should You Wait To Have Sex?

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Religion says wait. Save yourself for your mate on your wedding day. Society says enjoy the pleasures of life and don’t deny yourself anything because you only live once (YOLO)…so which is it? Honestly, it’s a personal decision. Even Preacher’s kids struggle with holding out; look at Sarah Jakes, T.D. Jakes daughter who got pregnant at 14. So no matter who your parents are, ideally the decision is an individual one. However, it is important that we equip our teens with the essential knowledge to make these decisions.

I didn’t wait until I was married to have sex, although my situation is a bit unique…but I know friends who have waited, those who did not and those who took a vow of celibacy later on. In either case, they have had fulfilling marriages, while some have divorced and moved on.

Of my friends, the youngest that married while still virgins were 24 and 25. The oldest virgin I know to get married (he was a devout Catholic and virgin, she chose to honor his celibacy but was not a virgin) was 40 and 36. I know, right? We used to clown him every day although we truly did respect his decision to wait until marriage.

Recently in the news, Megan Good and her fiancé announced that they have decided to wait until marriage. It’s hard to believe celebrities can have morals these days, and I’m sure it took a lot of courage to come out and reveal something like that. Megan Good is known for her sex appeal image. I’m sure this will have an impact on young girls who look up to her – hopefully in a good way because I am so tired of seeing ‘Pregnant at 16’ become the new teenage idol.
true love waits
It has become more of a popular thing to remove physical intimacy from a relationship. Since sex has become so easy to come by it seems love is left rusting on the shelf. When the sex is amazing it’s hard to differentiate between whether your feelings for them are real or if it’s just for the way they make you feel in bed. I know I’ve been clouded in judgment about that before – staying with a guy simply because the sex was way too good to give up to someone else although he acted like a complete jerk.

Holding off on sex proves to be useful in getting to know someone for who they are and finding out who is willing to stick around and commit rather than stay for an easy lay. But what if you do decide to wait and when you finally have sex it’s horrible? Then what?

I’m a firm believe that what makes sex so powerful and intense has more to do with feelings than technique. I mean sure, knowing what you are doing IS important, but when you really love someone your senses are more heightened with them and it becomes more emotional than physical. Just think about sex for the purpose of sex and actually making love to someone you are totally connected to. Both can be fun and pleasurable, but I think overall when it’s with someone meaningful it has more value.

What are your thoughts on waiting before marriage? Have you done it? Would you do it?
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New Nook Read

How To Make An Easy Buck

If you have a few minutes I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Take a look into the sad, hidden lives of men and their sexual desires as you follow a call girl through one night. Follow her as she meets her clients and feeds their passions. In the final scene, when danger looms large, will the narrator’s survival skills get her out unscathed?