Apologies

So when I started this blog a little over a month ago I think – no, I know – I was quite naive about the blogging world.

I am very ambitious and my intentions were in the best interest of creating a place where sincere advice, comical relief and the love of writing could exist in harmony.

Truth is, I’m 48 days from graduating with my 2nd Bachelor’s in Psychology, I’m stressed about whether I’ve been accepted into grad school, I work full time, this last semester has me stressed out with learning about neuroscience and bio psychology and I’m diabetic and trying to keep my health under control.

I do this often, biting off more than I can chew. But I’m no failure at anything I put my mind to, and I’m very passionate about this blog.

I’ll be changing up a few things. First, I’ll be posting less; I realize my enthusiasm may have ultimately been just flooding your inbox, to those who are subscribed. Also, I was getting burnt out trying to write daily. So for now I will only be posting on Mondays.

Second, I’d like to hear from you and get your thoughts on what you would like to read or hear about. So be on the look out for my new “Contact Me” page. For now, you are more than welcome to like my Facebook page and leave me comments on there.

I want to say a big thank you to all of my readers who encourage me and remind me that I made the right choice in creating The Pleasure Principles. I hope you continue to enjoy the journey as this site ultimately matures along with my novice experience.

Be blessed and continue to seek your pleasure and passion!

Dissolving Ignorance

I held myself back because I loved you.
I thought maybe you didn’t see me.
You saw me clearly – right through me.
Did I ever mean anything to you?
Did you ever really care?
No worries, dear love.
It’s neither here nor there.

I consulted your opinion
Because it meant so very much.
Making you a part of my life
When really you didn’t give a fuck.
I can’t say I was blind
Because I can fully see.
Now I see the truth
That you never meant for us to be.

We will always be friends,
You don’t deserve more than that.
But I gave you my heart
And all the love within it.
I loved so deeply hoping I could love you into loving me.
But the more I gave
The emptier I became.
Until there was nothing left but tears.

I had to break down my own door of illusion
And salvage what energy I could.
Loving you damn near killed me.
At least had me singing the blues.
I held myself back so you would notice me
But more oblivious I became.
Now I realize you’re the one who should be catching up,
But you’re quite content with where you stay.

Answering The ‘Shoulder Tap’

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Who has found themselves in this situation before? Somebody wants some, but the other person is far from interested? Not even willing to help you out in a time of need! Reasons can be similar for both men and women; busy lives, children, not feeling well, long and/or bad day at work, etc. The person being rejected may not understand or feel that you are being unreasonable, especially if “No” has been heard far more than “Yes.”

For the ones saying no, have you really given it enough thought? Have you put yourself in your partner’s, errr – pants? Have you opted for middle ground – heavy petting, making out, possibly oral, before disregarding their request? Do you really think if you got started that you wouldn’t find yourself enjoying it, too?

For those who are doing the ‘tapping’ have you thought about how your partner feels? How was their day? Did you argue at all? When they say no, is the reason the same or something different?

If any of you have ever heard of Dr. Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” it is a very thorough guide in understanding the person you are with. It actually speaks beyond romantic relationships to that of coworkers, children, teenagers, family, etc. But I digress. It discusses ways to get the person you love to understand your love for them. Most men are physical; so sex being a physical act is one way they like to show they love their significant other. There are other ways, but I am just focusing on one for the sake of this post.

When a person who has a love language of physical attention and they want to have sex but get rejected it is more than saying, “No”. In their mind it’s like saying you don’t love them, too. So over time, they begin to withdraw from the relationship and eventually may seek their needs to be met somewhere else. If you’re thinking, ‘well if they would help around the house, or if they would just pay me a compliment once in awhile instead of wanting to jump me all the time’ then you are speaking your love language. They need to learn how to speak it.

Relationships require give and take. Granted, you may not always be in the mood. You may be so angry with something they have done or didn’t do that you can’t fathom being in the same bed, but I will say this. Life is short and we do not know when we will take our last breath. Try not to go to bed angry. Try to resolve to either agree to disagree or really get to the heart of the matter – sans emotional outbursts, etc. Fight fair. Listen. Sacrifice.

The answer to the shoulder tap might be ‘no’ but just be sure you add a ‘yes’ in there, too. Or make the rain check worthwhile…