Dissolving Ignorance

I held myself back because I loved you.
I thought maybe you didn’t see me.
You saw me clearly – right through me.
Did I ever mean anything to you?
Did you ever really care?
No worries, dear love.
It’s neither here nor there.

I consulted your opinion
Because it meant so very much.
Making you a part of my life
When really you didn’t give a fuck.
I can’t say I was blind
Because I can fully see.
Now I see the truth
That you never meant for us to be.

We will always be friends,
You don’t deserve more than that.
But I gave you my heart
And all the love within it.
I loved so deeply hoping I could love you into loving me.
But the more I gave
The emptier I became.
Until there was nothing left but tears.

I had to break down my own door of illusion
And salvage what energy I could.
Loving you damn near killed me.
At least had me singing the blues.
I held myself back so you would notice me
But more oblivious I became.
Now I realize you’re the one who should be catching up,
But you’re quite content with where you stay.

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