The Pleasure Principles

Communication is Key

Have you ever found yourself constantly arguing with your significant other to the point where you don’t even want to say hello? Or make eye contact. Or exist under the same roof. Sometimes emotions can run so high you find yourself asking, “Do I even love them anymore?” Or “What’s the point in trying?”

It’s an ugly place. It feels dark, lonely, and I’m sure it’s hard to see beyond the pain. Let me ask you something. Do you even know why you’re arguing? Sometimes the answer is plain; sometimes you two have been out of sync for so long you can’t recall what started it. My guess is it started with disappointment. Someone didn’t get their needs met and felt the other didn’t care. Without actually discussing it, your partner may have dismissed it as not important leaving you harboring these hurt feelings adding a dash of resentment.

Have you talked to them about how you feel? Truthfully. From a place of “I” statements not “you this” or “you that”? Maybe you have a hard time articulating yourself. Have you tried writing your thoughts down?

One thing that helps put things into perspective is to look at it from a place of love. If it’s a relationship you value, that is. Too often we focus on our own hurt, our own pain and discomfort, that we forget what it means to be empathetic. It’s not easy either. In a world where most people are WIIFIM (what’s in it for me?) it’s second nature to be the same way in our own lives. But when you’re in a meaningful relationship with someone it is better when it can be reframed as WIIFU (what’s in it for us?).

If you value your partner you must also value their needs and their perspective. It becomes easier to take the edge off of your indignation when you can think positively about your relationship and what strengths you two have together.

It may take multiple conversations. It may take weeks and months. If you value the relationship press through and put in the work to hear one another out, even if you have to write out bullet points to stay on target. Leave the low blows out of it; remember this is someone you love.

Anything worth keeping is worth the work. Both of you are deserving of being heard and having your needs met. And compromise will need to be part of the package as well. As long as it isn’t a compromise on basic values and personal ethics. That is a much deeper conversation about whether you two are truly compatible.

Start with love. Speak with kindness. Listen with intent.

Arousal

I am in tune with my body.
I feel my heart throbbing.
Much like the pulsating sensation between my thighs.
All day long my thoughts have been distracted.
I must catch my breath every time my shirt
Rubs gently against my breast.
I need a moment to collect myself.
The palpitations beat in sync with
These racing thoughts I have about
Meeting you in our bed.

I need some hot and heavy attention,
I don’t want to waste another second.
I want to know if you are thinking of me
As much as I’ve been craving you?
I can envision your hands touching me in places;
Places that yearn to be touched by you.
I’m tired of teasing myself with ‘barely scratching the surface’ releases.
I want to gush all over you with my love
Until it drenches our sheets,
And your lips,
And the tip…

My love is throbbing in sync to my beating heart.
Catch the vibe, come catch this rhythm.
We’ve fallen out of sync
And I’d like to bring us back to love.
I want to feel us making love again.
I need to believe we can
Find our way back to ecstasy
And pleasure fulfilled.
Competing with one another to bring the other to unmatched heights of pleasure.
No holding back.
Just getting lost in the desire of
Making love memorable;
Exciting;
Lustrous;
Enticing;
Everything we could fantasize
Since last we touched.

Passion Chronicle #6

It was a late night when they agreed to meet up and just “talk”. The vibe between them had been going strong for weeks with flirtatious banter back and forth through text all day long. It was time to put their money where their mouths were.

She wore nothing fancy or provocative; a fitting white undershirt and some shorts for the hot summer evening. When he arrived at her door he, too, had on a sleeveless undershirt and grey basketball shorts.

She felt her heartbeat quicken at the light knock on her front door. It had been quite some time since she felt this nervous and excited to spend time with a man since her divorce. After years of feeling like a million broken pieces it felt refreshing to be admired and eager to spend an evening with someone.

“Hey you” she said to him in a soft seductive voice.

“Hey lil mama,” was his rely in a deep silky voice. “It’s good to see you this evening.” They briefly hugged one another casually, both secretly savoring the scent of the other.

He stepped inside to her bohemian domain and realized she was a natural sistah, inside and out. She had scented candles lit around the room; creating a nice mellow ambiance for the two.

“Would you like something to drink?” She offered before gesturing him to have a seat.

“Some water would be good, thank you,” he said before taking a seat on the sofa.

Upon returning with their drinks she got comfortable on the sofa with him, more near than far away. Sitting with her knee slightly bent, her knee rested neatly against his thigh. Naturally he rested his left hand on her knee as they casually chatted as they always did.

With soft music playing in the background they talked and laughed like old friends. Two hours had already passed and it was now a little past midnight. Water had turned into clinking wine glasses and soft conversation had turned into laughter and light touches from both. Her legs now draped over his thigh and his hands stroking her thighs gently.

Now the time had come for the ultimate move. Looking into each other’s eyes there was so much curiosity and passion waiting to be unleashed. With his hand caressing her mid thigh, she slowly bit her bottom lip and boldly leaned in and kissed him. She had been thinking about what his lips felt like all night long. When she kissed him, her lips were soft, wet with a hint of wine, and gentle. He immediately cupped her face and pulled her closer onto his lap where she could feel his manhood pulsing against his shorts.

Kissing him felt powerful, raw, and uninhibited. Their hands found ways of undressing the other. Then she placed her hand on his member; it was at full attention. Biting her lip again, she smiled at him knowing how much she was about to enjoy tonight.

Sliding gently onto her knees from the sofa her soft hand slid down his manhood as she used her mouth to lubricate the tip. He rested his head back on the sofa with eyes closed and a smile on his face as she pleasured him. He enjoyed the warmth of her mouth, the softness of her lips, the tongue tricks she played to get a reaction from him. His moans encouraged her to go deeper. She could feel moisture soaking her panties.

After enjoying a few moments of unexpected oral pleasure he felt himself wanting to release but didn’t want it to end so soon. He sat up and pulled her back to his lap where he engulfed her with kisses. He wanted to return the favor.

They made their way gently to the plush rug on her living room floor. Her body was ready with anticipation as he gently spread her thighs and kissed his way to her other lips. He plunged his face into her wetness and began licking, sucking, kissing until her moans grew uncontrollable and intense and he felt the trembling in her legs. He savored ever drop of her juices as he made his way back up her body to her other lips.

In heated passion he engulfed her with kisses where she could taste herself on his lips and he pressed his pulsing manhood against her thigh. Opening her legs wider she used her right hand to gently guide him into her wet and throbbing sweet spot. He teased her with just the tip until she rolled him over to his back and took charge on top.

In slow motion she was grinding her hips on him with a soft and easy bounce. By far this adventure had already exceeded her expectations. Every thrust commanded a moan from her lips which seemed to intensify his enjoyment. His rhythm was intoxicating and deliberate.

From position to position they explored, teased, laughed, kissed, grabbed, and kissed one another like what lovers are meant to do. She experienced orgasm after orgasm and felt physically spent. This man was insatiable.

Sitting face to face she slowed down so she could look him in his eyes. In searching his eyes she knew he was wanting to make sure she was satisfied. She leaned in and whispered gently, “I’m ready for you to come”. As she braced herself for one last epic orgasm she squeezed her arms around him and shivered uncontrollably. He tensed his body and buried his face into her bosom. He let out a sigh of relief and she dug her nails deeper into his back and bit his shoulder.

They were physically spent.

Smiling and laughing together they could see light peeking through the curtains. “Good morning, beautiful,” he said through kissing her lips. She giggled and responded in return, “hey you”….