The Pleasure Principles

Happy Fat Tuesday!

I just wanted to wish everyone a happy Fat Tuesday! Hope you are wearing your beads today, or go out to collect some at the parties tonight if you plan on hanging out.

Eat a slice, or two, of some king cake and try to find the baby for good luck. Make today great – tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. What are you giving up?

*Disclaimer: I am not Catholic, nor am I trying to press religion on anyone. I have followed Lent for years because I have found giving up something for 40 days is very humbling and rewarding. If you’ve never tried it I seriously encourage you to look over your life and give up one thing that you might do too much of. This might be the thing to bring you closer in your relationship; might even be something to break a bad habit. Either way, enjoy today and worry about all that other stuff tomorrow!!!

Should You Wait To Have Sex?

Religion says wait. Save yourself for your mate on your wedding day. Society says enjoy the pleasures of life and don’t deny yourself anything because you only live once (YOLO)…so which is it? Honestly, it’s a personal decision. Even Preacher’s kids struggle with holding out; look at Sarah Jakes, T.D. Jakes daughter who got pregnant at 14. So no matter who your parents are, ideally the decision is an individual one. However, it is important that we equip our teens with the essential knowledge to make these decisions.

I didn’t wait until I was married to have sex, although my situation is a bit unique…but I know friends who have waited, those who did not and those who took a vow of celibacy later on. In either case, they have had fulfilling marriages, while some have divorced and moved on.

Of my friends, the youngest that married while still virgins were 24 and 25. The oldest virgin I know to get married (he was a devout Catholic and virgin, she chose to honor his celibacy but was not a virgin) was 40 and 36. I know, right? We used to clown him every day although we truly did respect his decision to wait until marriage.

Recently in the news, Megan Good and her fiancé announced that they have decided to wait until marriage. It’s hard to believe celebrities can have morals these days, and I’m sure it took a lot of courage to come out and reveal something like that. Megan Good is known for her sex appeal image. I’m sure this will have an impact on young girls who look up to her – hopefully in a good way because I am so tired of seeing ‘Pregnant at 16’ become the new teenage idol.

It has become more of a popular thing to remove physical intimacy from a relationship. Since sex has become so easy to come by it seems love is left rusting on the shelf. When the sex is amazing it’s hard to differentiate between whether your feelings for them are real or if it’s just for the way they make you feel in bed. I know I’ve been clouded in judgment about that before – staying with a guy simply because the sex was way too good to give up to someone else although he acted like a complete jerk.

Holding off on sex proves to be useful in getting to know someone for who they are and finding out who is willing to stick around and commit rather than stay for an easy lay. But what if you do decide to wait and when you finally have sex it’s horrible? Then what?

I’m a firm believe that what makes sex so powerful and intense has more to do with feelings than technique. I mean sure, knowing what you are doing IS important, but when you really love someone your senses are more heightened with them and it becomes more emotional than physical. Just think about sex for the purpose of sex and actually making love to someone you are totally connected to. Both can be fun and pleasurable, but I think overall when it’s with someone meaningful it has more value.

What are your thoughts on waiting before marriage? Have you done it? Would you do it?

Every Woman Has an Inner Tyra

Who says you have to be Tyra Banks or Giselle Bundchen to pose and take sexy pictures? Every woman has the possibility to be beautiful; with the right clothing, lighting, camera and makeup. Oh right, and person they feel VERY comfortable with to put them in some of those vulnerable positions, that if done correctly, come out so classy and tasteful.

I recently did a ‘photo shoot’ for a friend who was a bit apprehensive about the whole idea. She didn’t feel comfortable doing a boudoir package with someone she didn’t know so I told her I would gladly help out. I did some research about what poses would work best, helped her pick colors that I thought complimented her skin tone and helped with hair and makeup. I think they came out rather well – if you don’t mind me tooting my own horn ‘toot’ – and her husband LOVED them, which was the overall goal.

After taking the pictures for her, I came to the conclusion that every woman should have her Next Top Model moment and feel sexy about herself. Granted, I’m divorced and single, but what I have learned from all of my heartache and pain is that I can still feel beautiful and sexy regardless of having someone in my life. That should not be the defining factor in how I feel about myself. Or how you feel about yourself.

With that said, grab your bestie, a camera and leggo! You probably could set up your camera to take your own pictures but the only reason I don’t advise this is because often times we neglect the imperfections about ourselves that are actually beautiful. In being overly critical of ourselves we diminish our true unique qualities.

Now smile for the camera, click, click!

If you are doing these pictures for your man, trust me, he will love them. Just make sure he doesn’t try to show you his appreciation in the same way….