Should You Wait To Have Sex?

safe sex
Religion says wait. Save yourself for your mate on your wedding day. Society says enjoy the pleasures of life and don’t deny yourself anything because you only live once (YOLO)…so which is it? Honestly, it’s a personal decision. Even Preacher’s kids struggle with holding out; look at Sarah Jakes, T.D. Jakes daughter who got pregnant at 14. So no matter who your parents are, ideally the decision is an individual one. However, it is important that we equip our teens with the essential knowledge to make these decisions.

I didn’t wait until I was married to have sex, although my situation is a bit unique…but I know friends who have waited, those who did not and those who took a vow of celibacy later on. In either case, they have had fulfilling marriages, while some have divorced and moved on.

Of my friends, the youngest that married while still virgins were 24 and 25. The oldest virgin I know to get married (he was a devout Catholic and virgin, she chose to honor his celibacy but was not a virgin) was 40 and 36. I know, right? We used to clown him every day although we truly did respect his decision to wait until marriage.

Recently in the news, Megan Good and her fiancé announced that they have decided to wait until marriage. It’s hard to believe celebrities can have morals these days, and I’m sure it took a lot of courage to come out and reveal something like that. Megan Good is known for her sex appeal image. I’m sure this will have an impact on young girls who look up to her – hopefully in a good way because I am so tired of seeing ‘Pregnant at 16’ become the new teenage idol.
true love waits
It has become more of a popular thing to remove physical intimacy from a relationship. Since sex has become so easy to come by it seems love is left rusting on the shelf. When the sex is amazing it’s hard to differentiate between whether your feelings for them are real or if it’s just for the way they make you feel in bed. I know I’ve been clouded in judgment about that before – staying with a guy simply because the sex was way too good to give up to someone else although he acted like a complete jerk.

Holding off on sex proves to be useful in getting to know someone for who they are and finding out who is willing to stick around and commit rather than stay for an easy lay. But what if you do decide to wait and when you finally have sex it’s horrible? Then what?

I’m a firm believe that what makes sex so powerful and intense has more to do with feelings than technique. I mean sure, knowing what you are doing IS important, but when you really love someone your senses are more heightened with them and it becomes more emotional than physical. Just think about sex for the purpose of sex and actually making love to someone you are totally connected to. Both can be fun and pleasurable, but I think overall when it’s with someone meaningful it has more value.

What are your thoughts on waiting before marriage? Have you done it? Would you do it?

New Nook Read

How To Make An Easy Buck

If you have a few minutes I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Take a look into the sad, hidden lives of men and their sexual desires as you follow a call girl through one night. Follow her as she meets her clients and feeds their passions. In the final scene, when danger looms large, will the narrator’s survival skills get her out unscathed?

Big Girls Need Love To

big girlMy dude. I know you see me over here. What? Did I blend in with the damn scenery? Were you put off by the fact that I actually ‘eat’ when I go out to dinner? Truth is, I’m not as invisible as you’d like to pretend I am.

Weight and physical beauty are relative; nothing is permanent about them. Getting to know the real me might uncover a real gem, or freak, if you took the time to look past all the ‘fluff’. By the way, ‘fluff’ ain’t so bad for trying to do some of those freaky things you want to do, say, when bones grinding on you just isn’t that appealing.

Sink your teeth in a juicy red apple. Now sink your teeth in a juicy blueberry. Not the same kind of result, huh? Not as satisfying? I’m not hating on my skinny girls, because my sister and close friends are a part of the itty bitty committee but I’m just saying don’t be so closed-minded about big girls.
plus size pin up
Everyone has their preference and I’m not knocking that but there are perks to having your big girl card. You know she’s always gonna want to feed you, especially after some good loving because she worked up an appetite. If you ever piss her off, food will usually calm her down and distract her enough for you to get away, food will probably be an added item to any foreplay, and you won’t have to always come up with places to eat because guarantee she knows all of the good ones and possibly has hook ups or discounts.

Big girls are more durable and won’t flinch at the first hint of escalated rough sex. Pause – I don’t mean lose your damn mind a choke anybody, that might get you shot. But ass smacking and pounding harder won’t be interrupted with whining and crying because something hurts. That’s what all of this padding is for!

Is It In Yet?

is it in
No man wants to hear those words. Ever.

Men, hear me out for a minute. This is not gonna bash you; trust me. You’ve enjoyed the journey with me so far, right? Then have a little faith my friend. This is, however, going to require some assistance on your part, so please work with me.

Now ladies, I know you’ve hear the expression “It’s not about the size of the boat, but the motion in the ocean,” correct? To a large extent that is true. A man’s size in relation to the pleasure you experience is not exclusive to one another. Sometimes. Sometimes no matter how many tricks you toss, that little boat ain’t chuggin’ hard enough.

Sometimes it has a lot to do with positions. You may need to be creative. You may need to learn to use your hands more and your mouth. I’ve attached a few video’s below for a few ideas.

Sometimes it’s the man attached to the penis. Seriously. Ya’ll know what I’m talking about. He’s got all the right equipment and DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT! This is the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced. I wanted to throat punch him. To make matters worse, he couldn’t even put the condom on right and it slipped off and I almost got pregnant off that wack sex! Talk about pissed……

Then there are those modest guys who aren’t packing too much so you don’t think too much about it until he had you sweat out your perm and got your makeup running like a raccoon. I think he felt like he had something to prove; he got hold of me and proved it. Until the sun came up. I couldn’t walk; I couldn’t talk that day. I was laying in bed holding myself after he left because he gave it to me so good.

One thing that helps, and this goes to any guy, is making sure your girl is taken care of. If she’s not trying to climb off the bed and get away from you then you need to put in some more work. Once she gets her, she will be more than willing to put in work or overtime for you. Trust me.

mind blowing

It has been my experience that size does not matter, however that is just my opinion. My va-jayjay also isn’t so stretched out that it’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway either. So there it is. I’d recommend doing some kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles down there if that is a problem you may suffer from. For guys, I suggest thinking outside of the box. Use various surfaces to give you the access you need to hit the right spot. A desk, table, counter top, couch, car, hood of a car, patio furniture – get creative. The possibilities are limitless.

Overall, don’t knock it until you try it. Enjoy 🙂


I once worked for this boss who liked to take long lunch breaks. Since she broke the rules a bit, she didn’t mind, if on occasion, we did the same.

I always pack my lunch and take it to work with me. On one particular day, I grabbed my lunch, got in my car and headed over to this guys house for my lunch break. (intermission: this could lead to a new Passion Chronicle…..) When I arrived, I saw his car in the driveway and when I got up to the door I noticed it was unlocked.

I headed inside and went straight to the back room in the corner on the left. When I opened the door, he was laying butt naked on the bed, ready and waiting. Now that’s my idea of hot and ready!

Have you ever had a quickie? I mean, you don’t have much time, so all the courtesies and cute playfulness is thrown out the window. It’s about getting down and dirty as quickly as possible, yet not ruining makeup, hair or wrinkling clothing so that you can get back to being professional in a snap. **Wearing skirts or dresses and bras that snap in the front makes this extra helpful ladies**
He and I had this scheduled lunch date every Tuesday and Thursday at 11:15 a.m. when none of his roommates would be home. I’d eat my lunch on the drive back to work while checking my hair in the rear view mirror for any fly aways or smeared lipstick. This schedule went on for months. What I loved was there was rarely any talking, any cuddling and spooning; it was raw, passionate, uninhibited, fun and uncomplicated. We were both seeing other people at the time and didn’t want feelings to get involved but couldn’t ignore the sexual chemistry between us.

Later we did end up dumping the people we were dating, but not for each other. We recognized early that the only thing good between us was the sex. I’m not quite sure why it ended, but it was an exciting experience to have lived.

If you are thinking, how can you find pleasure in quick sex? Trust me, you can. The exhilaration of it being forbidden and untraditional in the sense of what sex is about is what makes it so amazing. The adrenalin racing through your body and the thrill of doing something so racy in the daytime, on the couch, in the bathroom, in the car, on the counter, in the closet, or wherever you can get it will truly make you feel every bit of hot and steamy.

Check out Joel D. Block’s book Quickie’s You’ll Never Forget for some ideas. Let me know what you think and share some of your quickie success stories.

Downtown…..That’s The Way To My Love

That song sums up what I am talking about today.  Fellatio and cunnilingus are oral sex acts performed for the purpose of providing pleasure.  And what joyous pleasure they can provide….oh, sorry.  I had a flashback.  Focus….

While having a girl’s night out, we somehow always find ourselves discussing topics of sex, the latest guy craze or sex flop.  One topic that I always find interesting is that of oral pleasure.  What I’ve noticed is that most younger guys tend to err on the side of NOT wanting to perform it on their girls, yet wanting to enjoy the pleasure themselves. My key word was most, so don’t go jumping down my throat because I did not generalize.  Most older guys don’t seem to have a problem at all going down.  They understand a happy woman in bed means everyone in bed is happy – I can dig that!

The problem I have is with not wanting to return the favor.  Don’t be afraid to taste the cupcake.  If you fear it might be unclean, you probably shouldn’t be trying to sleep with her in the first place.  But I’m not judging.  Always do a ‘finger test’ before you put your mouth anywhere near a woman’s cupcake.  Don’t be obvious about it, but make it seem like you are feeling how moist she is.  Be slick about how you get a whiff of your finger and taste it, so she isn’t suspicious.  If anything – and I mean anything – seems funky or off about it, act like you’re having a seizure or your body is being taken over by aliens and get out of there!  That hoe is nasty!

The first time a guy when down on me I was so new.  I had no skills, I didn’t know what was going on, I was caught off guard – but my body quickly caught me up to speed on how to enjoy it.  So ladies, hopefully you get someone who knows what they are doing.  If not, here are a few tips I have passed on to gently lead them in the right direction:

  • Don’t try to stab her with your tongue like it’s a dagger.  Lick her like an ice cream cone melting on a hot summer day.  Don’t let any of the juices spill all over.
  • Try writing your name or a love letter with your tongue.  It causes different movement and keeps from getting routine.
  • You really don’t need to make any eye contact.  How about you focus on what you’re doing and we’ll focus on climbing up the wall if you’re doing it right?

oral sex - bananaFor my ladies, now that we have the guys ready and willing to step their game up, I need you to be ready, too.  It’s time to embrace your inner Lil Kim.  Don’t be afraid of the mic.  As I have mentioned to the men, I will say the same to you; inspect whatever you put into your mouth.

Our skills can lead to a pleasurable experience and also safe sex.  Cosmo has a great article on how to slide a condom on with your mouth as well as other ideas and tips. I will only list a few here for your convenience.

  • Li-li-li-li-lick him like a lollipop.  Start at the head and work your way down.  I like to trace circles around his penis with my tongue before taking him all the way in my mouth.
  • Trace your lips with his tip like it’s your favorite lipstick.  It’s just a tease move.
  • Blowjobs and handjobs are bff’s.  Don’t focus solely on the mouth or solely on the hand.  Let them work together like a stripper to her pole.
  • Have fun and enjoy one another. The balance is about what is comfortable for you.  It should be about the chemistry between the two of you and what you are trying to get out of it.  If you feel you may have regrets the next day, by all means don’t be forced into something you don’t want to.  Talk about it; openly discuss what you’re thinking and feeling.  Going Down Guide

    Above all else, practice safe sex!  And have fun!

    For more information on oral pleasure, browse the web or check out a book I found rather interesting on Amazon by Emily Dubberley.