Let’s Just Make Out

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Let’s face it; we have busy lives. Even if we could clone ourselves, most of us wouldn’t have the time for the procedure. We all know something will suffer no matter how hard we try to stretch ourselves thin to accommodate everything. So how do you keep the passion going in a relationship starved of quality time?

Previously, I wrote about scheduling time for sex for those who simply have too hectic of a schedule. It may not work for everyone, but for some it is the perfect solution. I’ve written about quickies – those hot passionate sex sessions for people who don’t have a lot of time but need that quick sexual release….again, this may not be for everyone. For some, this may not be enough so I would advise scheduling some quality time with your significant other to fulfill those unmet needs.

When you are seriously starved for time my guess is that you are running high on stress as well. One way to quickly come down is to take it back to the basics; have a full on make out session like teenagers. Remember those days when you would make out in the car for hours, groping and touching, kissing until your lips were raw, teasing each other to the point of losing control? Well, let’s not take it ‘that’ far, but rekindle some of those old feelings of reckless abandon.
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It doesn’t matter how it starts: walking up behind them and starting a trail of soft kisses at the nape of their neck; sitting on their lap and just locking lips. I don’t mean those dry boring kisses where your lips touch for like .3 seconds either. I mean a juicy kiss. A kiss that lingers on their mind long after your lips have parted.

That type of kiss will guarantee a “To be continued…” later, trust me. It might even bump a few things down the responsibility list because it started a fire that needs extinguishing immediately. Who knows? Just enjoy the moment without worry and care. Two minutes will not make the world end.
Think about how you are going to create and enjoy a passionate moment today. Life is about the moments we make and the people we cherish; do the people you care about know how you feel? Sometimes a kiss contains all the words your heart doesn’t have the courage to say.
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Every Woman Has an Inner Tyra

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Who says you have to be Tyra Banks or Giselle Bundchen to pose and take sexy pictures? Every woman has the possibility to be beautiful; with the right clothing, lighting, camera and makeup. Oh right, and person they feel VERY comfortable with to put them in some of those vulnerable positions, that if done correctly, come out so classy and tasteful.

I recently did a ‘photo shoot’ for a friend who was a bit apprehensive about the whole idea. She didn’t feel comfortable doing a boudoir package with someone she didn’t know so I told her I would gladly help out. I did some research about what poses would work best, helped her pick colors that I thought complimented her skin tone and helped with hair and makeup. I think they came out rather well – if you don’t mind me tooting my own horn ‘toot’ – and her husband LOVED them, which was the overall goal.

After taking the pictures for her, I came to the conclusion that every woman should have her Next Top Model moment and feel sexy about herself. Granted, I’m divorced and single, but what I have learned from all of my heartache and pain is that I can still feel beautiful and sexy regardless of having someone in my life. That should not be the defining factor in how I feel about myself. Or how you feel about yourself.

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With that said, grab your bestie, a camera and leggo! You probably could set up your camera to take your own pictures but the only reason I don’t advise this is because often times we neglect the imperfections about ourselves that are actually beautiful. In being overly critical of ourselves we diminish our true unique qualities.

Now smile for the camera, click, click!

If you are doing these pictures for your man, trust me, he will love them. Just make sure he doesn’t try to show you his appreciation in the same way….
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Big Girls Need Love To

big girlMy dude. I know you see me over here. What? Did I blend in with the damn scenery? Were you put off by the fact that I actually ‘eat’ when I go out to dinner? Truth is, I’m not as invisible as you’d like to pretend I am.

Weight and physical beauty are relative; nothing is permanent about them. Getting to know the real me might uncover a real gem, or freak, if you took the time to look past all the ‘fluff’. By the way, ‘fluff’ ain’t so bad for trying to do some of those freaky things you want to do, say, when bones grinding on you just isn’t that appealing.

Sink your teeth in a juicy red apple. Now sink your teeth in a juicy blueberry. Not the same kind of result, huh? Not as satisfying? I’m not hating on my skinny girls, because my sister and close friends are a part of the itty bitty committee but I’m just saying don’t be so closed-minded about big girls.
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Everyone has their preference and I’m not knocking that but there are perks to having your big girl card. You know she’s always gonna want to feed you, especially after some good loving because she worked up an appetite. If you ever piss her off, food will usually calm her down and distract her enough for you to get away, food will probably be an added item to any foreplay, and you won’t have to always come up with places to eat because guarantee she knows all of the good ones and possibly has hook ups or discounts.

Big girls are more durable and won’t flinch at the first hint of escalated rough sex. Pause – I don’t mean lose your damn mind a choke anybody, that might get you shot. But ass smacking and pounding harder won’t be interrupted with whining and crying because something hurts. That’s what all of this padding is for!

Is It In Yet?

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No man wants to hear those words. Ever.

Men, hear me out for a minute. This is not gonna bash you; trust me. You’ve enjoyed the journey with me so far, right? Then have a little faith my friend. This is, however, going to require some assistance on your part, so please work with me.

Now ladies, I know you’ve hear the expression “It’s not about the size of the boat, but the motion in the ocean,” correct? To a large extent that is true. A man’s size in relation to the pleasure you experience is not exclusive to one another. Sometimes. Sometimes no matter how many tricks you toss, that little boat ain’t chuggin’ hard enough.

Sometimes it has a lot to do with positions. You may need to be creative. You may need to learn to use your hands more and your mouth. I’ve attached a few video’s below for a few ideas.


Sometimes it’s the man attached to the penis. Seriously. Ya’ll know what I’m talking about. He’s got all the right equipment and DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT! This is the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced. I wanted to throat punch him. To make matters worse, he couldn’t even put the condom on right and it slipped off and I almost got pregnant off that wack sex! Talk about pissed……

Then there are those modest guys who aren’t packing too much so you don’t think too much about it until he had you sweat out your perm and got your makeup running like a raccoon. I think he felt like he had something to prove; he got hold of me and proved it. Until the sun came up. I couldn’t walk; I couldn’t talk that day. I was laying in bed holding myself after he left because he gave it to me so good.

One thing that helps, and this goes to any guy, is making sure your girl is taken care of. If she’s not trying to climb off the bed and get away from you then you need to put in some more work. Once she gets her, she will be more than willing to put in work or overtime for you. Trust me.

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It has been my experience that size does not matter, however that is just my opinion. My va-jayjay also isn’t so stretched out that it’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway either. So there it is. I’d recommend doing some kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles down there if that is a problem you may suffer from. For guys, I suggest thinking outside of the box. Use various surfaces to give you the access you need to hit the right spot. A desk, table, counter top, couch, car, hood of a car, patio furniture – get creative. The possibilities are limitless.

Overall, don’t knock it until you try it. Enjoy 🙂

Downtown…..That’s The Way To My Love

That song sums up what I am talking about today.  Fellatio and cunnilingus are oral sex acts performed for the purpose of providing pleasure.  And what joyous pleasure they can provide….oh, sorry.  I had a flashback.  Focus….

While having a girl’s night out, we somehow always find ourselves discussing topics of sex, the latest guy craze or sex flop.  One topic that I always find interesting is that of oral pleasure.  What I’ve noticed is that most younger guys tend to err on the side of NOT wanting to perform it on their girls, yet wanting to enjoy the pleasure themselves. My key word was most, so don’t go jumping down my throat because I did not generalize.  Most older guys don’t seem to have a problem at all going down.  They understand a happy woman in bed means everyone in bed is happy – I can dig that!

The problem I have is with not wanting to return the favor.  Don’t be afraid to taste the cupcake.  If you fear it might be unclean, you probably shouldn’t be trying to sleep with her in the first place.  But I’m not judging.  Always do a ‘finger test’ before you put your mouth anywhere near a woman’s cupcake.  Don’t be obvious about it, but make it seem like you are feeling how moist she is.  Be slick about how you get a whiff of your finger and taste it, so she isn’t suspicious.  If anything – and I mean anything – seems funky or off about it, act like you’re having a seizure or your body is being taken over by aliens and get out of there!  That hoe is nasty!

The first time a guy when down on me I was so new.  I had no skills, I didn’t know what was going on, I was caught off guard – but my body quickly caught me up to speed on how to enjoy it.  So ladies, hopefully you get someone who knows what they are doing.  If not, here are a few tips I have passed on to gently lead them in the right direction:

  • Don’t try to stab her with your tongue like it’s a dagger.  Lick her like an ice cream cone melting on a hot summer day.  Don’t let any of the juices spill all over.
  • Try writing your name or a love letter with your tongue.  It causes different movement and keeps from getting routine.
  • You really don’t need to make any eye contact.  How about you focus on what you’re doing and we’ll focus on climbing up the wall if you’re doing it right?

oral sex - bananaFor my ladies, now that we have the guys ready and willing to step their game up, I need you to be ready, too.  It’s time to embrace your inner Lil Kim.  Don’t be afraid of the mic.  As I have mentioned to the men, I will say the same to you; inspect whatever you put into your mouth.

Our skills can lead to a pleasurable experience and also safe sex.  Cosmo has a great article on how to slide a condom on with your mouth as well as other ideas and tips. I will only list a few here for your convenience.

  • Li-li-li-li-lick him like a lollipop.  Start at the head and work your way down.  I like to trace circles around his penis with my tongue before taking him all the way in my mouth.
  • Trace your lips with his tip like it’s your favorite lipstick.  It’s just a tease move.
  • Blowjobs and handjobs are bff’s.  Don’t focus solely on the mouth or solely on the hand.  Let them work together like a stripper to her pole.
  • Have fun and enjoy one another. The balance is about what is comfortable for you.  It should be about the chemistry between the two of you and what you are trying to get out of it.  If you feel you may have regrets the next day, by all means don’t be forced into something you don’t want to.  Talk about it; openly discuss what you’re thinking and feeling.  Going Down Guide

    Above all else, practice safe sex!  And have fun!

    For more information on oral pleasure, browse the web or check out a book I found rather interesting on Amazon by Emily Dubberley.

    Why Does It Look Like That?

    So you finally got the nerve to give it up to the hottie that you’ve been obsessing about for weeks now.  Fumbling around with buttons and zippers, clothes are being tossed all over the room, and you are leaving soft kisses down his happy trail to his….happiness.  But wait – what the hell is THAT?scared look

    There is a difference between circumcised and uncircumcised penises.  Circumcised (cut) penises, on average, just look more appealing.  Uncircumcised (uncut) penises usually look like they have a turtleneck on but not all have a lot of foreskin.  You might not even be aware that a man is uncut because once they get an erection it looks just like a cut penis.

    A friend of mine is about to marry a man who is uncut.  She has never been with anyone uncut before and they are also waiting until marriage to have sex.  Quite nervous about it, she asked what my thoughts were.  I started laughing.  Not for the reasons you may think.  You see, I am laughing because I wrote “An Insatiable Reverie” based on an uncut penis experience.  Need I say anymore?

    dick in a boxThe first time I saw an uncircumcised penis I was a bit concerned.  Why did it look like it had a turtleneck on?  Was it cold?  How did it come out to play?  I’m a fool, so you know I literally asked those questions to the guy.  He laughed at my dumb questions but gave me a tour of his anatomy.

    What I found unique was that uncircumcised men seem to have more sensation in this area than circumcised men.  I don’t know about you ladies, but I get turned on more when I know I’m working it right and driving him wild.  Sexy noises turn me on.  Foreplay with uncircumcised men can truly become a pleasure principle in itself.  The down side to this extra sensitivity is that condoms restrict their heightened pleasurable sensations, sooooo about that.  There are, however, extra thin condoms on the market that offer more sensation than most.

    The only real problem that I found was with unclean uncircumcised guys.  Granted, this type of etiquette I expect from anyone really, but with that extra skin down there it is important to get all in those crevices.  Dude, you want to put your dick in my mouth but as soon as you take your pants off it smells like rotten flesh down there?  Ummmmm, you better ask yo’ mama to suck yo’ dick, you nasty bastard.  That’s like a woman wanting you to go down and forgetting to tell you she is on her period.  I bet you would want to slap the taste out of her mouth.  Let’s just think sensibly.  Freshen up so both parties can be satisfied and no one has to get hurt.

    My overall verdict; don’t be afraid to sample something new.  You will never know if you like it if you don’t try it out.  If you haven’t already, go check out my poem, An Insatiable Reverie.  Like I said, it was inspired but an uncut and afterwards he had me down there talking to it like it was my new best friend!

    Sex…..Makes The World Go ‘Round….Or At Least Helps With Sleep At Night

    PassionI know quite a few people who have problems sleeping. They have tried yoga, meditation, drinking warm milk, balancing on their heads – you name it – with no relief. I just wonder how many of them have tried a good ‘ol dose of some good sex? Not that uptight, let-me-just-get-this-over-with kind of sex, but passionate and intense, non-stop kissing and caressing, sweating out the bed sheets type of sex.

    Far too often, especially in committed relationships, people (I won’t point the finger at women or men) settle into a routine and lose interest in bringing passion with them into the bedroom. Hey! That might be a problem, too. Try getting freaky in different places – the bed is one of MANY surfaces for a good time.

    I hear a lot of my female friends complain about feeling fat and unattractive and because of this feeling less than desirable they choose to not desire their partner. Ladies, he still desires you! If he didn’t he probably wouldn’t be coming home to you. I’m just saying. If you think about it, men have insecurities, too. They sometimes take the ‘don’t touch me vibe’ as a sign that we are no longer attracted to them. Do you see how it can cause a vicious unnecessary cycle of unhealthy self-esteem issues?

    We must all learn to stop the negative self-talk that we bombard ourselves with on a daily basis. Stop comparing ourselves with the next person or the person on tv. None of us are airbrushed to perfection constantly so it’s no use to live with those unrealistic expectations that no one can even live up to.
    Love the skin you are in. If that seems too hard a task then fake it until you make it. Avoid mirrors for awhile and just pretend you’re in a movie playing the leading actor or actress for your partner. Love on them; tease them. Make them feel wanted and in turn I promise you will feel sexy and wanted, too. If anything else, you will know by the way their body reactions to you whether you still got it or not.

    Sex isn’t meant to be uptight and boring. Make it fun. Somebody make an animal noise – raWr! Grrrrrr……something. Go ahead and laugh – that’s even better because then it lessens your inhibitions and allows you to become more comfortable in the moment. When you are comfortable you are more inclined to really enjoy yourself. So hey, why deny yourself that guilty pleasure? Then, when all is said and done, lala land won’t seem so far off anymore.