The problem with choosing to love someone is they have the choice to love someone, too, and not always you.
It was in my hopes for a promising future with you that I lost sight of myself.Had I been honest with my feelings you would have known you never really had a chance.
In all actuality, you are not even an option;
You are a convenience that ends nicely
When my love life has been a little lonely.
I love – our arrangements.
There are no questions asked
Just needs met.
I love – the morning after.
When I revel in a fraction of a fantasy all night laying in your arms
And mornings break brings about an excuse to leave without all the awkwardness,
Well, because you and I both know what time it is.
The distance between us builds that heightened expectancy of passionate pleasures.
My body gets right in tune with your vibe as soon as we lock eyes.
It’s an unspoken kindred feeling
An indescribable place of ecstasy that you take me to every time.
Every time I find myself yearning for more
Yet pulling back because I know you leave me more often than not unfulfilled
Outside of the parameters of making my body feel good.
So I fantasize about those places your tongue knows so well
I giggle to myself thinking about how your kisses feel.
Our unspoken chemistry is without boundaries
It may be more than even we can understand,
Yet your body knows mine,
And my body craves you undeniably.
So let’s cut this short and get down to what we both know we came here for.
The anticipation eats away at me:I don’t know how you will react when you read those words.
Those words that I wrote for you in a love letter,
Enclosing my heart inside the seal that I kissed.
Placing a forever stamp on the envelope
Because that is where you will be in my heart –
Along with all our memories.
It’s been so long since last I saw you.
Far too often I catch myself wandering in the distance
Of thoughts consisting of you, and only you.
I debate whether or not you think of me this way.
I feel manic –
A bit obsessed –
I just can’t seem to get you out of my head.
I wrote that love letter at least 1,000 times.
Took me 13 years to finally come to terms with the truth;
Yes, I love you.
I torture myself over and over
Wondering have I missed the opportunity
Or if you’d even remember…me?
Surely you can’t be
The same person I knew so long ago.
I know I’ve changed –
I wonder if you’d even like the new me?
Each line of my letter is a heart string
That plays a specific melody for
Every year that we could have been together;
Just you and me.
I wanted you to be swept away in adoration
And truly see the tenderness of my love.
You are the epitome of my desire;
The gift I’m now longing to keep.
I didn’t realize it then, but I am aware now
That all I have ever wanted
Was to live in your arms.